“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”
… It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision – it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Over the past two years since relocating from home, I have ruminated on the concept of friendship. I have often found myself living in two worlds: the one I am presently in and the one I moved from. Maintaining relationships across the board has taken more from me than I thought was required from friendship. Relocating also showed me that making friends and being intentional about being in a community where you belong takes a lot of work.
Coming from a place where I always had my peers around me- went to school together, roughed up the five years of law school together, joined work at the same time- somehow always meant that you had people around you and you didn’t have to do anything extraordinary to be friends. Your shared experiences connected you and kept that friendship going. Being detached from that and moving to a whole new region meant starting from scratch. This time, no shared experiences to hang onto or begin from due to the fleeting nature of the transition.
This is the background to some of the questions I have had about friendships, which I approached a few of my friends who have I had interestingly had some of these same discussions with, to answer a few questions in this series.
The goal of the series is mostly to grasp what friendship truly means from different perspectives, as well as how to navigate adult friendships, mostly female friendships, through the changing scenes of life: relocation, distance, marriage, childbirth, separation, to mention but a few.
This will be a four-part series in conversation with a few of my friends who were gracious enough to indulge my curiosity surrounding friendship, and it will conclude with a review of a few books on friendship that I am reading along the way and hopefully recommendations that you will pick up. I hope this will be as engaging and informative for you as it has been for me in preparing the material and being in conversation with the wonderful women you are about to meet!
Be sure to leave us a comment in the comment section with your thoughts on each piece and any thoughts you might have on the different topics.
Looking forward to going on this ride with you.
Cheers!