Hi there.
Happy new week and thank you for taking the time to pass by and read some of my scribbles. I truly appreciate you.
I’ve been meaning to do this series on depression for the longest time, but I wanted it to have the much needed impact that God intended and I do hope that you will be able to learn a thing or two about recognizing and dealing with depression and anxiety from the amazing people that will be sharing their stories on here.
Before I hand over the blog to my first guest, I’d like us to know briefly, what depression and anxiety is and then listen in to the testimonials.
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in things generally. (World Health Organization, 2020) Some of the symptoms are anger outbursts, loss if interest or pleasure in interaction, constant tiredness and lack of energy, reduced appetite, anxiety and agitation, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, sudden weight gain or weight loss to mention but a few.
Anxiety refers to the intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. (World Health Organization, 2020) Some of the symptoms include restlessness, increased heart rate, trouble concentrating, difficulty falling asleep to mention but a few.
What you, dear reader, needs to know before we delve into the various stories, is that whatever it is that is causing your depression and anxiety, it is very valid and you need to acknowledge this before it gets severe. Don’t downplay the slightest form of unease caused by a fear you have be it social interaction or the desire to fit in.
I will host a total of there people to tell their stories on depression and anxiety, how they recognized it and how they are dealing with it and hopefully, I will host a medical personnel at the end of the series to give us a broader and medical perspective on depression and anxiety.
The first guest of the blog is the phenomenal Lindsay Byamugisha. Lindsay is a Christian that is very passionate about music and education. On a good day, you will find her with her guitar trying to strum a few songs. She is a proud Rotaractor, and she serves with the Rotaract Club of Kampala South.
This is her story.
***
It’s interesting that people have always complimented my smile and how happy I look. I was happy. I am still happy. However, I started to doubt that after a while. Let’s go back to the beginning. But that’s the thing, I can’t seem to place a date or time to when it all started. Every time I try to go down that lane, I fail to get the answers that I desire. But I can tell you one thing – 2018. That was the first time that my heart grew feet and started peeping out my blouse more than often. That was when my sadness started to linger on in my routine and it eventually became a part of my factory settings. That was when watching movies and series with a sad element became a trigger for me. Just so you know, they never were. I was always the hard guy and here I was trembling at the slightest plot twist.
I started to notice the difference in my body, but I thought no it’s probably nothing. It’s just a bad day. Or maybe I’m over thinking it. This too shall pass. The movie was generally a sad one. I started to give excuses and through this I gave way to the depression that had started to creep in. I had heard about it, I had started seeing it, I was feeling it, but I still gave excuses. And before I knew it, every day was turning into a bad day because I had failed to pay attention to what was right in front of me.
The thing they don’t say about depression is that it doesn’t like friends or gatherings or public places. However, it loves and thrives in isolation. I left church in November 2018 because there was this strong desire to be alone. I stopped attending social gatherings and kept giving excuses like I always did. And yet I had the time, but I preferred to be alone. When you’re alone it is possible that you give room to anxiety and depression like they are your mate. I didn’t even have space to listen to encouragement from my peers or let the word of God be a light unto my feet and a lamp unto my path. All the truths I had learned from the word of God started to fade like I didn’t know them anymore. They stopped making sense and now I know why – I had cut myself away from the true vine. The bread of life.
One day, reality hit. It came closer to home. I didn’t sleep for three days, my heart started racing every day, my hands and knees started shaking and I couldn’t focus. I had a fever and my body felt sick – general body weakness, nausea, headaches, loss of appetite and the likes. All hospital reports came back negative. The doctors were saying I was fine. I always felt sick, and I didn’t feel fine. I couldn’t sleep at night and my heart seemed to be leaving me trying to look for a better home. I started to lose weight and people started commenting. I moved from 57kgs to 46kgs in four months.
This fear started to engulf my body like something bad was about to happen to me all the time. Before I knew it, I was even scared of sleeping in my own bed. I just couldn’t. I slept in the couch for a couple of days until my mother asked me to stop doing that. I eventually moved to my sister’s bedroom. When I slept at night, I started to think about the people that had died. The ones that were in hospital dying. Who would die next? who would attend my funeral if I died? All the dreams that I would leave behind if I died soon. The thought of death lingered on in my mind in my sleep and in my waking. It still does. This went on for about four months until a friend advised me to visit a physician. Long story short the physician recommended I visit a psychiatrist. I did. She explained to me what was going on and after an assessment, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was put on medication. She also recommended that I see a psychologist to talk me through this journey and a nutritionist to help with my diet plan for my weight loss. I did all that.
Now the hard part – I had to tell my family. I did after a month. I started with my sister who is miles away because she is the easiest to talk to. She would understand and she wouldn’t judge me. She actually did understand like I had anticipated. She told my brother and together they decided to cover the costs to see my psychiatrist and psychologist more often.
Honestly, every day is different. There are days I wake up and I feel like the world is my oyster whereas there are days I wake up and I’m the last person you would want to meet. I don’t have energy to do anything. No energy to talk or text or even move. So, I stay home and fold my legs in the couch and sit there for hours without moving an inch. On a bad day I stay in my bed and I’ve had to adjust my life to accommodate the medication and all these things that I feel in my body and cannot explain.
One thing that I have learned over the months is when the phone goes silent and all your friends that you run to are dead asleep, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. One who neither sleeps nor slumbers and one who watches over you day and night. His name is the great I am. There is no greater truth than finding your true north in Him. I try every day to tell him everything that I would say to my closest friend. I let Him into my heart and reveal to him my fears and anxieties. He is never caught by surprise and He has a way of dealing with things in ways we could never think or imagine.
Now here is the thing – no one wakes up and asks to be sad. There are many factors that lead to depression and everyone’s journey is different. I think the biggest mistake that we make is to believe that it is far away from us. It is not. Actually, it lives with us everywhere we turn. I will not tell you what to do when a friend confides in you or when you find out that they are struggling. However, I will say that we need to know that anxiety and depression are not like malaria that you treat in three days or even a week and you’re back on your feet. It is a whole journey of acceptance and healing.
Grace – extend grace to whoever it is. You just never know what someone is going through and the intensity of their pain and struggles. That hand of grace might be the only blessing they are able to recognize at that point in time.
***
Tikia Joella
I have been blessed by this. Thank you for sharing.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Tikia
Tikia Joella
I have been blessed by this. Thank you for sharing.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Tikia
Tikia Joella
I have been blessed by this.
Light and love to Lindsay. Thank you for sharing
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you
Tikia Joella
I have been blessed by this.
Light and love to Lindsay. Thank you for sharing
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you
yongyera
Wow wow. Khanani thanks for scribbling on depression and anxiety
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Mwene 😊
yongyera
Wow wow. Khanani thanks for scribbling on depression and anxiety
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Mwene 😊
Atwine Mugisha
We need to appreciate that mental health is crucial and makes us human, as in, gives us life! The problem is that we quite often bever realise that our neighbours are suffering. We are too judgmental! But there is much hope in such scribbles!
Khanani Daniella
Yes we do. Espexially in our African setting that is so dismissive of such things. Thank you for reading Atwine. 😊
Atwine Mugisha
We need to appreciate that mental health is crucial and makes us human, as in, gives us life! The problem is that we quite often bever realise that our neighbours are suffering. We are too judgmental! But there is much hope in such scribbles!
Khanani Daniella
Yes we do. Espexially in our African setting that is so dismissive of such things. Thank you for reading Atwine. 😊
mimar2601
I can so relate, been there before. Sending you love and airy hugs💜💜💜💜😄😇
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Mimar. How did you get out of it?
mimar2601
My Aunty took me to a therapist, he diagnosed my situation as mild depression triggered by back to back loss. Was put on 9 months of anti depressants and therapy sessions. I must say Therapy works, I am currently an unrecognizable version of my pre depression self. I thank God I overcame that indescribable dark place.
Khanani Daniella
Aww I’m glad. Thank you for sharing. Bless you.
mimar2601
Thank you😇
mimar2601
I can so relate, been there before. Sending you love and airy hugs💜💜💜💜😄😇
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Mimar. How did you get out of it?
mimar2601
My Aunty took me to a therapist, he diagnosed my situation as mild depression triggered by back to back loss. Was put on 9 months of anti depressants and therapy sessions. I must say Therapy works, I am currently an unrecognizable version of my pre depression self. I thank God I overcame that indescribable dark place.
Khanani Daniella
Aww I’m glad. Thank you for sharing. Bless you.
mimar2601
Thank you😇
Norah Nabbosa
This is a beautiful read❤️ I think we need to understand that depression and anxiety does exist especially in our African communities. Love and light to Lindsay
Khanani Daniella
Aww thank you for passing by Norah. And yes, we definitely need to understand that. Itll go a long way in breaking the stigma surrounding it.
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Norah
Norah Nabbosa
This is a beautiful read❤️ I think we need to understand that depression and anxiety does exist especially in our African communities. Love and light to Lindsay
Khanani Daniella
Aww thank you for passing by Norah. And yes, we definitely need to understand that. Itll go a long way in breaking the stigma surrounding it.
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Norah
Sonia Kiai
It was about time. Great write sister, thanks to Lindsay for sharing. Love and light her way 💕💕💕
Khanani Daniella
Yes it was. Thank you for reading sissy. 😊 I’ll pass on the love
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Sonia for the love. I appreciate.
Sonia Kiai
It was about time. Great write sister, thanks to Lindsay for sharing. Love and light her way 💕💕💕
Khanani Daniella
Yes it was. Thank you for reading sissy. 😊 I’ll pass on the love
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Sonia for the love. I appreciate.
Baluka Hannah Stacey
Thank you Danny and Lindsay for putting this together. This reminds me of a time I guess I was facing depression too, I rarely ate, I used to just cry uncontrollably with no reason and I always found pleasure in being alone and slept alot. Thanks again.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Hannah. I know. Its difficult to put a finger to it but what matters is that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you will accept it and not dismiss it and work everyday towards healing. I love you and we can do this together ❤
Baluka Hannah Stacey
Thank you and I love you too❤
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Hannah. I remember there was a time i went to the salon to do my hair and while I was there I started crying uncontrollably. I had to walk out and go back home. To-date I don’t know why I was crying that day.
Baluka Hannah Stacey
I can relate. Thanks again Lindsay.
Baluka Hannah Stacey
Thank you Danny and Lindsay for putting this together. This reminds me of a time I guess I was facing depression too, I rarely ate, I used to just cry uncontrollably with no reason and I always found pleasure in being alone and slept alot. Thanks again.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Hannah. I know. Its difficult to put a finger to it but what matters is that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you will accept it and not dismiss it and work everyday towards healing. I love you and we can do this together ❤
Baluka Hannah Stacey
Thank you and I love you too❤
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Hannah. I remember there was a time i went to the salon to do my hair and while I was there I started crying uncontrollably. I had to walk out and go back home. To-date I don’t know why I was crying that day.
Baluka Hannah Stacey
I can relate. Thanks again Lindsay.
GG
Stories like these really make us realise we’re not alone. Thank you for sharing what is obviously not an easy journey💞
Khanani Daniella
They do. Thank you for passing by GG. And it takes guts to share but I hope the stigma surrounding it fades away.
GG
Stories like these really make us realise we’re not alone. Thank you for sharing what is obviously not an easy journey💞
Khanani Daniella
They do. Thank you for passing by GG. And it takes guts to share but I hope the stigma surrounding it fades away.
bisikwatendo
I felt like I was reading off from my own script 🥺. Thank you Lindsay for sharing and Khanani for this series on depression and anxiety. These are the conversations we need to be having.
Khanani Daniella
Youre welcome Tendo. I’m glad its very relatable. Its something that people say away from because we always want to be the strong ones
But its okay to not be okay. I hope you will find courage to know that you’re not alone and that were here to hold your hand through it all. I love you and ill.be praying for you. 😊💛
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Tendo for taking the time to read this. I agree that these are conversations we need to start having more often, especially at a time like this when we are being encouraged to isolate and keep distance from each other. What better time for anxiety from the unknown to creep in.
bisikwatendo
I felt like I was reading off from my own script 🥺. Thank you Lindsay for sharing and Khanani for this series on depression and anxiety. These are the conversations we need to be having.
Khanani Daniella
Youre welcome Tendo. I’m glad its very relatable. Its something that people say away from because we always want to be the strong ones
But its okay to not be okay. I hope you will find courage to know that you’re not alone and that were here to hold your hand through it all. I love you and ill.be praying for you. 😊💛
Lindsay Byamugisha
Thank you Tendo for taking the time to read this. I agree that these are conversations we need to start having more often, especially at a time like this when we are being encouraged to isolate and keep distance from each other. What better time for anxiety from the unknown to creep in.
Faith Oluka
This is very relatable
Khanani Daniella
Yes it is. Alarming that the numbers keep increasing and there’s stigma surrounding it but yes it is. Thank you for passing by Faith.
Faith Oluka
This is very relatable
Khanani Daniella
Yes it is. Alarming that the numbers keep increasing and there’s stigma surrounding it but yes it is. Thank you for passing by Faith.
patrisha19
Thank you Daniella, and Lindsay for sharing❤️.
I cannot wait for the victory stories! And emerging strong from all unhealthy spaces we find ourselves in; we’ve been thrown into.
Khanani Daniella
Youre welcome Patrisha. I can’t wait to deliver the same. Thank you for passing through. 😊
patrisha19
Thank you Daniella, and Lindsay for sharing❤️.
I cannot wait for the victory stories! And emerging strong from all unhealthy spaces we find ourselves in; we’ve been thrown into.
Khanani Daniella
Youre welcome Patrisha. I can’t wait to deliver the same. Thank you for passing through. 😊
zamwa
Write more on mental health and thanks for your insight
Khanani Daniella
I definitely will. Thank you for taking time to read.
zamwa
Write more on mental health and thanks for your insight
Khanani Daniella
I definitely will. Thank you for taking time to read.
Depression and Anxiety: 2/4 – Resolute Scribbles
[…] https://resolutescribbles.com/2021/08/09/depression-and-anxiety-1-4/ […]
Depression and Anxiety: 2/4 – Resolute Scribbles
[…] https://resolutescribbles.com/2021/08/09/depression-and-anxiety-1-4/ […]
Zaden Zane
That’s a great article. I can’t wait to read the next bit!!
I started researching the history of depression, like how the diagnosis and treatment has changed, so I posted up an early version of my findings. If I dredge up anything more interesting I’ll write a better article. You’re welcome to drop by + have a look!
https://zadenzane.wordpress.com/2021/09/10/a-long-history-of-depression/
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Zane. Ah I’d definitely love to read your research!!! I’m going to.
Zaden Zane
That’s a great article. I can’t wait to read the next bit!!
I started researching the history of depression, like how the diagnosis and treatment has changed, so I posted up an early version of my findings. If I dredge up anything more interesting I’ll write a better article. You’re welcome to drop by + have a look!
https://zadenzane.wordpress.com/2021/09/10/a-long-history-of-depression/
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Zane. Ah I’d definitely love to read your research!!! I’m going to.
skye arizon
Thank you so much for your time to write this. It helped me alot. I had a anxiety last night and im still trying to control and understand anxiety.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Skye. I’m so sorry you had the anxiety. ☹ I’m sending you the biggest and scushiest hugs and praying for you. ❤
skye arizon
Thank you so much for your time to write this. It helped me alot. I had a anxiety last night and im still trying to control and understand anxiety.
Khanani Daniella
Thank you for reading Skye. I’m so sorry you had the anxiety. ☹ I’m sending you the biggest and scushiest hugs and praying for you. ❤