Yoga *How are you in Japhadhola, from Tororo in Uganda*
Feels remarkable to have made it thus far in this challenge. My head’s buzzing with all the things and deadlines I must beat so blogging everyday is like my break in between the hours.
I hope you’re coping well. Are you? Feel free to share with me if you’re not and why, I love to listen.
Anyhoo, I’ll be writing about bride price in Uganda today.
This is a custom that is part of most of the tribes in Uganda irrespective of the region and language. However, its more pronounced amongst the central part of Buganda; that is, the Baganda. (I realize that I’ve been writing mostly about the central part in this challenge yet I come from Eastern Uganda, but you can’t blame a girl, ha-ha have grown up pretty much in the Central.)
So, bride price is a custom that is meant to appreciate the parents of the girls who are being married off. Or so they say. A man, usually engages in negotiations with the girl’s family in numerous meetings before a final ‘price’/ ‘appreciation’ is agreed upon. After which, the boy must make sure he meets the end of the bargain and some families don’t give away their girls before the full bride price has been paid.
The ancient Baganda (in the early 1600) believed that this was simply a practice of appreciation and evidence that a man can take care of their daughter. Others saw it as an reimbursement for the investment that they made in grooming their daughters and nurturing them to be who they’ve become. Others, saw it as a token of appreciation and demanded more when their daughters were being married of as virgins, as a symbol of pure purity.
This was a good thing, right? Debatable I know, but the intention was honest you must agree with me.
Lets fast forward to the 21st Century…
You’ll notice from my tone, or title that I’m a bit skeptical about this practice. Here’s why.
In 2016, one of my class’ favorite criminal law professor came over an hour and a half late for class which was very much unlike him. Being the class coordinator, he’d told me to notify the class to be patient with, and so I did. It wasn’t a tag of war because everyone enjoyed his classes so we waited. He entered class at about 6:30 pm, perspiring and carrying a briefcase. He was dressed very sharply in a gray suit with a waistcoat inside. Let me not talk about his shoes, ha-ha I might never finish.
Anyways he enters class and tell us he’s had such a horrible day. He was getting married and he was from negotiations with the fiancé’s parents who wanted over 20 heads of full-grown cattle. Now a cow in Uganda is about a MIL or more depending on the variety. He needed approximately 25 million UGx just for the cows, and that wasn’t the only demand. He went on and on and I could feel the frustration in his tone. He loved this girl but the demands were improbable…
Now folks, there’s why I don’t like this custom that has been in our cultures for time immemorial.
Parents in the 21st century have materialized the bride price so much that it seems like, only the rich should get married. It’s honestly frustrating for a young man out of college who would want to settle with his girlfriend and start a family, but doesn’t have that crazy money in store for bride price. So, he gets comfortable cohabiting and children come along, and before you know it, there’s no wedding in the end.
I know that not all parents do this but a judge in 1894 once said that bride price can be equated to wife purchase. This is because setting a ‘price’ on a woman is equivalent to a chattel with a price on the market that a customer comes to buy or bargain the price for with the vendor. This doesn’t sit well with me.
If I were a parent, no amount of money would equate to the life, the precious life of my daughter. I got her free of charge from God, so why would I want to make money from her? Some tribes used to go as far as demand for their bride price back whenever there was a divorce. But this was outlawed by the Constitutional Court of Uganda in 2016.
So, there it is, a very good/ debatable custom that we have here, in Uganda.
Please do indulge me, does your culture require bride price and what’s your take on the same?
Cheers.
HaiboMoghel
There’s also pride price (lobola) in SA and it’s said to contribute to the wedding in the bride’s side. That’s what I know.
Khanani Daniella
Lobola interesting. So is it monetary or materialistic? 🤔
HaiboMoghel
Both monetary and live cattle
Khanani Daniella
Ahhh interesting. I don’t know why our parents love cows. 😂🙌🏽 But thanks for reading and sharing this. I’ve learnt something today. 😊👏🏾
HaiboMoghel
😂😂 I’m glad
HaiboMoghel
There’s also pride price (lobola) in SA and it’s said to contribute to the wedding in the bride’s side. That’s what I know.
Khanani Daniella
Lobola interesting. So is it monetary or materialistic? 🤔
HaiboMoghel
Both monetary and live cattle
Khanani Daniella
Ahhh interesting. I don’t know why our parents love cows. 😂🙌🏽 But thanks for reading and sharing this. I’ve learnt something today. 😊👏🏾
HaiboMoghel
😂😂 I’m glad
Mable Amuron
Many parents do that thing where they want to be appreciated for taking care of their child who DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN! It’s infuriating
Khanani Daniella
Haha righhhttt???? Has always perturbed me…
But we’re building the next generation right? We shall change the tables…
Livia_Abbooki
Thank you for the upper-caps. It is really disturbing.
Mable Amuron
Many parents do that thing where they want to be appreciated for taking care of their child who DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN! It’s infuriating
Khanani Daniella
Haha righhhttt???? Has always perturbed me…
But we’re building the next generation right? We shall change the tables…
Livia_Abbooki
Thank you for the upper-caps. It is really disturbing.
Beaton
Interesting post… We have similarities here in Zimbabwe and coincidentally, that is what my post for the day was about.
~B
Khanani Daniella
Really. Let me go check it out.
Great minds ey? 😂😂🙌🏽
Beaton
Definitely!!!
~B
Beaton
Interesting post… We have similarities here in Zimbabwe and coincidentally, that is what my post for the day was about.
~B
Khanani Daniella
Really. Let me go check it out.
Great minds ey? 😂😂🙌🏽
Beaton
Definitely!!!
~B
ethneticme
We do have this culture in Zim it’s called roora/lobola. In my culture though, the man does not finish paying off the bride price because the elders believe if he finishes off paying the bride price all at once they won’t be able to approach him for other “monetary or non monetary favours”. Of course it has been commercialised but I personally wouldn’t want it abolished lol and I don’t see it as buying someone 😂😂 that’s just me hey
Hope Chilinda
ATI he is not supposed to finish paying? I didn’t know this. The reason behind it is golden wisdom lol
Here in Zambia, it is disrespectful to leave behind a large amount of the Lobola money in the final Lobola negotiation. The man is just supposed to leave a small fraction of it to show his commitment…not too much though. Just like $100 or a little over that
Khanani Daniella
Our cultures are interesting right?
So what quick one, when does the part payment end if the man pays half from the onset?
Hope Chilinda
From what I have observed, he should finish paying before the wedding or in the first few years of marriage.
First payment is the last day of Lobola negotiations where he leaves a fraction of the amount.
Khanani Daniella
Ohhhh makes sense. Haha seems like I’m SAF the favors keep going on and on…
ethneticme
Yeah hey it’s crazy. But the funny thing is when the woman dies, her family can refuse to bury her saying the guy didn’t finish paying lobola 🙄🙄😂
Hope Chilinda
Eh🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
I thought I had heard it all🙆🏽♀️
For real?
ethneticme
😂😂 it gets nasty real fast
Khanani Daniella
Right haha I thought I had too… Honestly these customs…
Khanani Daniella
Whaaatttt!!!! 😂😂😂 First explain to me why you still want your hubby to pay the lobola? I don’t Gerrit. The terms mehn oh mehn.
Khanani Daniella
Ohhh same as the south Africans…
Ohh so the other part payment is for the rest of the marriage?
Or there’s a timeline. Haha interesting.
It’s alright to want it… Just the mode of demand and the level of materialism attached to it is what ticks me off..
But thanks for reading and sharing..
ethneticme
We do have this culture in Zim it’s called roora/lobola. In my culture though, the man does not finish paying off the bride price because the elders believe if he finishes off paying the bride price all at once they won’t be able to approach him for other “monetary or non monetary favours”. Of course it has been commercialised but I personally wouldn’t want it abolished lol and I don’t see it as buying someone 😂😂 that’s just me hey
Hope Chilinda
ATI he is not supposed to finish paying? I didn’t know this. The reason behind it is golden wisdom lol
Here in Zambia, it is disrespectful to leave behind a large amount of the Lobola money in the final Lobola negotiation. The man is just supposed to leave a small fraction of it to show his commitment…not too much though. Just like $100 or a little over that
Khanani Daniella
Our cultures are interesting right?
So what quick one, when does the part payment end if the man pays half from the onset?
Hope Chilinda
From what I have observed, he should finish paying before the wedding or in the first few years of marriage.
First payment is the last day of Lobola negotiations where he leaves a fraction of the amount.
Khanani Daniella
Ohhhh makes sense. Haha seems like I’m SAF the favors keep going on and on…
ethneticme
Yeah hey it’s crazy. But the funny thing is when the woman dies, her family can refuse to bury her saying the guy didn’t finish paying lobola 🙄🙄😂
Hope Chilinda
Eh🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
I thought I had heard it all🙆🏽♀️
For real?
ethneticme
😂😂 it gets nasty real fast
Khanani Daniella
Right haha I thought I had too… Honestly these customs…
Khanani Daniella
Whaaatttt!!!! 😂😂😂 First explain to me why you still want your hubby to pay the lobola? I don’t Gerrit. The terms mehn oh mehn.
Khanani Daniella
Ohhh same as the south Africans…
Ohh so the other part payment is for the rest of the marriage?
Or there’s a timeline. Haha interesting.
It’s alright to want it… Just the mode of demand and the level of materialism attached to it is what ticks me off..
But thanks for reading and sharing..
Winnie Malinga
I agree that the original intention has always been a token of appreciation. The family usually asked for something symbolic of value.
Like I said in my post today if anything is abused or misused, it becomes offensive.
Khanani Daniella
Yes I know. Hmph. Let me definately check out the post. But you’re right about the abide of something.
It has been abused… Well from the ones I’ve attended or witnessed.
Winnie Malinga
I agree that the original intention has always been a token of appreciation. The family usually asked for something symbolic of value.
Like I said in my post today if anything is abused or misused, it becomes offensive.
Khanani Daniella
Yes I know. Hmph. Let me definately check out the post. But you’re right about the abide of something.
It has been abused… Well from the ones I’ve attended or witnessed.
Hope Chilinda
This right here 🙌🏽” I got her free of charge from God, so why would I want to make money from her?”
We do have this practice in Zambia too. Bride price is dependent on several things like virginity, level of education, the girls family I.e their social status etc.
Lobola is anything from $100 to $3000 – $4000. The norm is between $1000 – 2000.
The reason for Lobola is so vague. When I ask I don’t get complete answers
Khanani Daniella
Lobola. Seems like the name is the same for the southern countries. That’s dope.
And whaaatttt they pay in cash??
So what happens if you don’t have the cash 🥺
Oh mehn it’s so sad.
Hahah keep pushing for the answers. We need to know.
Thanks for reading Hope.
Hope Chilinda
They convert the amount of one cow to money. If one cow costs K2000 and they’ve demanded for ten cows, that’s K20000(roughly $2000) bride price
ethneticme
Oh yeah the virginity aspect is a big deal 😂😂
Hope Chilinda
This right here 🙌🏽” I got her free of charge from God, so why would I want to make money from her?”
We do have this practice in Zambia too. Bride price is dependent on several things like virginity, level of education, the girls family I.e their social status etc.
Lobola is anything from $100 to $3000 – $4000. The norm is between $1000 – 2000.
The reason for Lobola is so vague. When I ask I don’t get complete answers
Khanani Daniella
Lobola. Seems like the name is the same for the southern countries. That’s dope.
And whaaatttt they pay in cash??
So what happens if you don’t have the cash 🥺
Oh mehn it’s so sad.
Hahah keep pushing for the answers. We need to know.
Thanks for reading Hope.
Hope Chilinda
They convert the amount of one cow to money. If one cow costs K2000 and they’ve demanded for ten cows, that’s K20000(roughly $2000) bride price
ethneticme
Oh yeah the virginity aspect is a big deal 😂😂
Kevin Bongonyinge
I totally agree with you, I don’t like the way people handle the bride price ish. They make men to handle their women like some sort of commodity because they paid alot of bride price.
Khanani Daniella
Man.. it’s so sad..
Kevin Bongonyinge
I totally agree with you, I don’t like the way people handle the bride price ish. They make men to handle their women like some sort of commodity because they paid alot of bride price.
Khanani Daniella
Man.. it’s so sad..
Kevin Bongonyinge
So in Acholi, when a couple gives birth to a child out side the wedlock or before making appearance to the parents, at the time of paying bride price, the man has to pay for the child or children they had before marriage.
Khanani Daniella
Really? Pay as in money or material stuff?
Kevin Bongonyinge
Any how the parents (dad) decides.
Khanani Daniella
Oh mehn. That’s messed up.
Kevin Bongonyinge
So in Acholi, when a couple gives birth to a child out side the wedlock or before making appearance to the parents, at the time of paying bride price, the man has to pay for the child or children they had before marriage.
Khanani Daniella
Really? Pay as in money or material stuff?
Kevin Bongonyinge
Any how the parents (dad) decides.
Khanani Daniella
Oh mehn. That’s messed up.
Humanity Boss
Powerful girl
Khanani Daniella
Thanks Nickie. 😊
Humanity Boss
Powerful girl
Khanani Daniella
Thanks Nickie. 😊
Humanity Boss
Some people finish paying the bride price later. Some don’t even finishing paying.
Khanani Daniella
Does it have repurcussions for the man who doesn’t finish paying?
Humanity Boss
Some people finish paying the bride price later. Some don’t even finishing paying.
Khanani Daniella
Does it have repurcussions for the man who doesn’t finish paying?
musanjufu benjamin kavubu
Bride price is a serious issue that I think ladies should take the lead to address
Khanani Daniella
I know. It’s it. It’s crazy that it’s allover Africa..
musanjufu benjamin kavubu
Sometimes you ladies (sorry) find prestige in the system. I need to do a podcast on it with you
Khanani Daniella
I know. They’re those who’ve been raised to Revere it. Just like FGM as Hope write about… And yes. I’d definately live the podcast idea. 👏🏾
musanjufu benjamin kavubu
Bride price is a serious issue that I think ladies should take the lead to address
Khanani Daniella
I know. It’s it. It’s crazy that it’s allover Africa..
musanjufu benjamin kavubu
Sometimes you ladies (sorry) find prestige in the system. I need to do a podcast on it with you
Khanani Daniella
I know. They’re those who’ve been raised to Revere it. Just like FGM as Hope write about… And yes. I’d definately live the podcast idea. 👏🏾
Livia_Abbooki
My tribe also practices this custom which personally I so much hate. Do they ever realise that they are haggling over a human being, who in most cases doesn’t even set her own price. Funny how I wouldn’t allow for a price tag to be put on my head.
See this custom should be weighed with the various early and forced mariages girls have been sent into all in the name of bride wealth. It is despicable.
Khanani Daniella
I know it is. But as Winnie pointed out.. one something is misused, then it loses its significance…
Livia_Abbooki
So true my dear.
Khanani Daniella
Once*
Livia_Abbooki
My tribe also practices this custom which personally I so much hate. Do they ever realise that they are haggling over a human being, who in most cases doesn’t even set her own price. Funny how I wouldn’t allow for a price tag to be put on my head.
See this custom should be weighed with the various early and forced mariages girls have been sent into all in the name of bride wealth. It is despicable.
Khanani Daniella
I know it is. But as Winnie pointed out.. one something is misused, then it loses its significance…
Livia_Abbooki
So true my dear.
Khanani Daniella
Once*
joseyphina
I think bride price is an African thing. Shouldn’t be like a price tag for a woman’s worth but seen as a token of appreciation to the bride’s family for raising her.
Khanani Daniella
Yes that’s true. It truly goes to the root of our cultures. But you must agree with me that some parents have made it something else..
joseyphina
Unfortunately so
joseyphina
I think bride price is an African thing. Shouldn’t be like a price tag for a woman’s worth but seen as a token of appreciation to the bride’s family for raising her.
Khanani Daniella
Yes that’s true. It truly goes to the root of our cultures. But you must agree with me that some parents have made it something else..
joseyphina
Unfortunately so
Linda Stella
These our traditions will be the end of us. These days it’s gotten out of hand. A man will bring the content of a whole sale shop as bride price. 🙌🙌 A year later he has a family with another woman…. somethings I just don’t understand
Khanani Daniella
I know… Our customs 🤦🏽♂️ they’ve been abused and polygamy is something else 😂
Linda Stella
These our traditions will be the end of us. These days it’s gotten out of hand. A man will bring the content of a whole sale shop as bride price. 🙌🙌 A year later he has a family with another woman…. somethings I just don’t understand
Khanani Daniella
I know… Our customs 🤦🏽♂️ they’ve been abused and polygamy is something else 😂
teemadzika
People try and make a bride price sound more noble than it is but it’s actually buying someone
Khanani Daniella
Yeah I know.
Mixed emotions and conversation right there ..
teemadzika
People try and make a bride price sound more noble than it is but it’s actually buying someone
Khanani Daniella
Yeah I know.
Mixed emotions and conversation right there ..
Experiences with Bex
Similar practise here , Its interesting how we all have similar practises despite being so far apart. WOW 20 cows that is madness now like it really has lost meaning when it was meant to be a beautiful thing
Khanani Daniella
Zimbabwe is it?
Yes Ive realised the African culture and customs are very similar. And I know very ridiculous demands…
Experiences with Bex
Zambia
Khanani Daniella
Ahhhh nice. Hope and you have to host me when I come to the city 🙌🏽🙌🏽💃🏾
Experiences with Bex
No problem we will
Khanani Daniella
☺️👏🏾
Experiences with Bex
Similar practise here , Its interesting how we all have similar practises despite being so far apart. WOW 20 cows that is madness now like it really has lost meaning when it was meant to be a beautiful thing
Khanani Daniella
Zimbabwe is it?
Yes Ive realised the African culture and customs are very similar. And I know very ridiculous demands…
Experiences with Bex
Zambia
Khanani Daniella
Ahhhh nice. Hope and you have to host me when I come to the city 🙌🏽🙌🏽💃🏾
Experiences with Bex
No problem we will
Khanani Daniella
☺️👏🏾