We’re Going To Need More Wine – Gabrielle Union.

Howdy!
Wow! it’s been an amazing past week on the blog. The first book review I did received so much support from you all and I’m honestly grateful. I don’t think I’d have any other readers but you all. Lots of love.
This week I’ll be reviewing We’re going to need More Wine By Gabrielle Union.

If you enjoyed reading Born a Crime by Trevor Noah and Becoming by Michelle Obama, I’m pretty sure you’d love Gabrielle’s auto biography too, on stories of growing up as African American in an all-white community.
If you’re looking for blunt, raw talk over red sweet wine with your big sister who has seen it all, this book is for you. Searching for a candid conversation on colorism, hypocrisy and racism? Looking for hacks to live past the most trying times of your life? Again, this book is for you.
Gabrielle published this autobiography in October 2017 through Dey Street Books publishing house and it won the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) Image Award for the most Outstanding Literary work and Book of the year by Root.
I’m sure we all know Gabrielle Union from the various movies, sitcoms and series she has acted in: Bring It On, 10 things I hate about you, She’s all that, Think Like a man, to mention but a few. So, you’ll definitely enjoy her straightforward recitation of her childhood and growing up.

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“You’re gonna have to be bigger, badder, better, just to be considered equal. You’re gonna have to do twice as much work and you’re not going to get any credit for any of your accomplishments or for overcoming adversity.”

This is the jingle Gabrielle and her sisters grew up to from her dad during their childhood days in Omaha, Nebraska, where they stayed in an all-white community. The blacks there were required to stand out in order to be recognized or they would be referred to as the forgotten heroes. This was the drive she had to always get straight A’s from all academic institutions and also be the best at sports. She however laments that;

“ Most black people have grown so accustomed to the fact that we have to excel just to be seen as existing and this is a lesson passed down from generation to generation. You can either be super negro or the forgotten negro.”

It’s amazing how frank she is as she recounts the complexities she and her family faced in attending all white schools and growing up in their neighborhoods. The desire to fit in and assimilate, while shunning the black culture and everything it stands for is what she had to do. She conceded so much during her high school days just to be considered as equal to ‘them’, and went to the extent of relegating one of her fellow ‘black sisters’ who was new at the school. She realizes this however, years after everything has happened and decides to inscribe these lessons and experiences so that those who come after her don’t make the same mistake.

“It’s a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One never feels his two-ness. An American, a Negro. Two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings, two warring ideals on one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.”
W.E.B Du Bois, The Souls of Black folks.

This statement illustrates the intricacies that one has to face in one’s body, soul and mind, in trying to fit in and be accepted. This applies to us all, not just Negroes and whites. The struggle to fit into a specific society can be subduing and trying, but we can only get our strength by standing together and remembering our roots. From the community and Ubuntuism.
What intrigues me about this book however is her account of the trauma she had to go through as a rape victim. Her experience is an exemplification of the experience that most rape victims go through and the expectation from society that they have to move past it very swiftly. She became a huge propagator for rehabilitation centers for rape victims and as she tells her story, this is the reaction she gets all the time;

“What were you wearing? They ask. She wonders, I got raped at work and people still want to know the role I played in what happened to me.”

This got me thinking about the stigma that rape victims face in the general public especially with regard to being hounded on what they were putting on and what they were doing at that particular time. Yes, I know that Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there’s an equal but opposite reaction, but what happened to self-control and love for humanity. The burden is on us to raise up daughters who respect themselves and their bodies, but also men who don’t chase after every skirt and forcefully have intercourse with them. So before we are quick to throw comments and judge, let’s ask ourselves; what role did I have? Have I played that role? before casting the stone.
Gabrielle also has an amazing conversation on the deep human nature to outshine another and bring others down while at it. This is the most honest thing that I’ve heard ‘read’ anyone say in a while. Most people hide behind the smiles in public and yet, the hypocrisy that dives in when that person is away, is nastier than what Herod did to the Jewish babies born during Jesus’ time.

“Many people love the attention that comes by trolling others but what they don’t know is that it’s a temporary cure for their invisibility. There’s always an audience for negativity. Negativity and the exploitation of other people’s pain drive so much of our culture and conversation.”

Gabrielle admits that she spent most of her life trolling people and she got a lot of attention and fame doing the same. But what drove her to do this was the need to assimilate and be seen as ‘cool’, but it came at a cost of someone’s reputation. That’s the sad part that we don’t comprehend most times. One time after she’d put up such an amazing performance of trolling some celebrity at a party she attended with her life coach, the coach calls her out and asks her;

“Did you get her guy? Did you get her job? Is your house bigger now? What positive happened because you tore this woman down? On the other hand, you showed exactly how much power she has over you because you spent an hour talking about her to a room full of people.”

This calling out, hit differently. Made me think about how many times I’d sit down with my friends when I was younger to talk about the failures and weaknesses of other people and that made me feel like I was better than them. What I didn’t know however, was I gained nothing at the end of the day. I resolved then, to build other people because it’s in the synergy of a community or nation that we’re able to achieve a conquest. It is maturity alone that made me reach that consciousness. Same as Gabrielle. I hope you’ll take off some time to brood over this.
There’s so much I want to add to the review about her poor choices at men, her failed marriage at first and getting over a heart break, her stand on colorism amongst the African-American community and the amazing mentors she had along the journey to success, but if I do this, you won’t get the much needed anticipation that I want you to have, to order the book online and read it, or download a PDF on your phone.
Spoiler Alert:
I must say, her language is very raw and unfiltered. Ha-ha, but sometimes it’s important to have real talk. Stop masking yourself to appear as ‘holier than thou’ yet you struggle with sin in the background. As a Christian, one of the toughest things I’ve had to learn to do is not pretend to be one thing and then I’m something else behind the scenes. Be accountable to the church and they will rebuke you in love where you are going astray. You need to be honest to do this.

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That my treasured readers, is the much I can spoil for you on the book. It’s a very insightful read and once you get round to reading it, you’ll realize so many things about society, people, and especially, the you that you’ve been covering up.
I hope you loved reading the book, for those who did. Please share with me what you thought about some of the major themes in her book, and those who haven’t gotten round to reading it, please do and let me know what you think.
Thanks for passing by.